We know changing the status quo and challenging hiring norms is bound to lead to some uncomfortable conversations. I’ve preached about the need to start by gathering data to have a better sense of the problems you want to solve. So, what’s next? How do you actually begin to broach an uncomfortable conversation at your organization?
Here’s a rarely acknowledged truth: uncomfortable conversations are not only about how you express what you’d like to say. An equally important part (or, some might even argue that it’s a more important part) is how you listen. This is especially important when it comes to leaders, who are likely the ones who will be on the receiving end of any feedback or concerns that employees want to express.
As a leader, are you receptive to feedback? Are you creating safe spaces for others to raise their concerns? And on the other side of the spectrum, are you openly sharing your feedback when given the opportunity? Here are some suggestions to help you examine these questions for yourself.
Lead With Inclusion
How often do you share your open and honest feedback with your manager, department heads, or organizational leaders? When your organization sends out their annual feedback survey, how do you respond? Do you take the opportunity to share your feedback? Or do you roll your eyes and say here we go again, another survey.
It Is important to acknowledge that there are many factors that might prevent an employee from feeling comfortable sharing their feedback - a key reason being a lack of psychological safety. But it’s important to keep in mind that if the culture of your organization leads you to feel unsafe in sharing your honest feedback, this is definitely not something to ignore. It may mean that in your next survey response, you might want to consider clearly articulating the fact that you don’t feel safe to share your feedback, and outlining the factors that you believe are contributing to that lack of safety. Or (in a worst case scenario), it may mean that it’s time to consider looking for another place to work, one where psychological safety is valued. Whatever the case may be, your feedback is important, and we all deserve to feel safe to share it.
Be An Inclusive Leader
Before we can expect employees to come to us with their honest feedback, we first need to create an environment where folks can feel safe to do so. What does psychological safety look like at your organization, and how are you consciously working to create it?
Here’s an exercise for you: think about the last time one of your employees came to you with a concern. How did you react to it? Really think deeply here - reflect on your reaction not only in terms of the words you said in response, but think even about your body language. Even if we’re not doing so intentionally, our bodies can often communicate a different message than our words. Did your body constrict when this concern was raised to you? Were you visibly uncomfortable, annoyed, or dismissive? Tell-tale signs to look out for might be: crossing your arms, rolling your eyes or averting your gaze, diverting your focus to something else (like checking your email while the employee was voicing their concern). Start to notice how you react when feedback is brought to you, and imagine how you might feel if someone reacted to your concerns in the way that you do to others. Are you creating an environment where employees feel safe to be honest and vulnerable, or might you be contributing to a narrative that your organization’s leaders aren’t open to feedback, or that they aren’t truly ready to have uncomfortable, but necessary, conversations?
Uncomfortable conversations are hard - we call them ‘uncomfortable’ for a reason. If you’re looking for a resource that can not only help you understand how to have these conversations, but can also create space for you to practice these conversations in real-time, look no further than The Work Beyond The Workshop™. This course goes beyond a training to provide the tools needed for participants to practice and space to make mistakes. Learn more and sign up here.
About Stacey Gordon:
Stacey Gordon is a Bias Disrupter and an unapologetic evangelist for inclusion. As the Founder of Rework Work, she anchors action using change management principles while facilitating mindset shifts. She is a global keynote speaker, Top Voice on LinkedIn and a popular LinkedIn Learning [IN]structor with nearly two million unique learners enjoying her courses.
Want to work with Stacey live? Considerbooking her for your next keynote, leadership development meeting or consulting engagement.