DEI didn’t fail. But leadership without inclusion will.

“Go away. You should work for your position, not get it gifted.”

That was the message someone left in my inbox recently—just one of many like it. I’ve received similar messages on my YouTube channel, in emails, and in comments on my LinkedIn posts. And while these comments aren’t new, they are exhausting.

But here’s the bigger issue: I’ve also been hearing from Black professionals who are questioning whether DEI was ever worth it. Some are saying DEI should go away—because it didn’t help them.

And that’s where my frustration grows.

Because both of those viewpoints are based on the same misunderstanding:

1. That DEI’s purpose was to exclusively help Black people, and

2. That “help” would look like the kind of assistance white professionals have long given each other—via nepotism, cronyism, or unspoken advantage.

Neither of those things is true.

Be an Inclusive Leader

Let me offer an analogy (one I’ve provided previously).

Imagine two swimmers about to compete in a race. One is Black, the other is white. But only the Black swimmer has 10-pound weights tied to their ankles.

This is what systemic inequity looks like. It’s what decades (or centuries) of discriminatory policies and workplace norms have created: unequal footing before the race even starts.

DEI asks: what if we removed those weights?

Now, if the Black swimmer—who’s been training with weights for years—suddenly becomes faster, more agile, and even wins the race, is that a gift? Or is that the natural result of removing an unjust barrier?

What DEI does not do is guarantee outcomes. It doesn’t decide who wins the race. It simply removes the built-in disadvantages that have kept some swimmers stuck at the starting line.

But if your ego is so fragile that you assume every Black person in leadership must’ve cheated or been handed the job, you’re not upset about equity—you’re upset about losing unearned advantage.

And if you’re a leader? You need to know when that kind of thinking is showing up in your own management style—or on your team.

Because it is showing up.

Lead With Inclusion

Being an inclusive team member or leader isn’t about checking diversity boxes or saying the “right” thing. It’s about how you treat people—especially when they succeed.

Here’s how to lead with inclusion in your daily work:

Remove the weights, don’t just cheer from the sidelines. If you know your company’s hiring, evaluation, or promotion processes disproportionately disadvantage certain groups, change them. Advocate for transparent salary bands. Revise biased performance criteria. DEI starts with systems.

Check the assumptions you’re making about success. When a woman of color is promoted, do you question her qualifications—or celebrate her accomplishments? If someone from an underrepresented group speaks with authority, are you more likely to interrupt them—or defer to them? These daily habits reveal bias.

Create conditions where everyone can compete. Equity is not about handing out trophies. It’s about ensuring everyone gets to show up with the same chance to contribute, perform, and grow. And yes, that requires removing historic disadvantages—and ongoing barriers.

Reframe what “teamwork” looks like. Are your team norms inclusive of diverse communication styles, work rhythms, or cultural values? Or do they reward those who conform to the dominant culture’s way of doing things? Teamwork is not about sameness. It’s about shared goals, mutual respect, and psychological safety.

Call out gatekeeping behavior. If you hear team members question whether someone “earned” their place, especially when the person being questioned is from a marginalized group, ask: “What makes you say that?” Then dig into the root of their discomfort. It’s often bias in disguise.

Final Thought

The reality is this: DEI didn’t fail. But we’ve certainly failed to protect its purpose.

Inclusion was never meant to guarantee outcomes. It was never designed to “gift” titles or seats. It was meant to remove the hidden obstacles that made it impossible for some people to even be seen.

So if you’re still clinging to the idea that someone else’s opportunity is your disadvantage, take a breath. Ask yourself what race you think you’re running—and why you expect to win without competition.

As leaders, we have the opportunity—and the responsibility—to shape inclusive workplaces where every team member can swim freely, not just float by on favoritism.

Don’t manage your team by defending privilege.

Lead them by removing the weights.

If you’re looking for more ideas on how to unbias your workplace, you can find my book, UNBIAS: Addressing Unconscious Bias at Work, at Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, and wherever books are sold.

About Stacey Gordon:

Stacey Gordon is Executive Advisor and Founder of Rework Work where she and her team coach and counsel executive leaders on DEI strategies for the business, while offering a no-nonsense approach to unconscious bias education for the broader employee population. As a global keynote speaker, Stacey is a Top Voice on LinkedIn and a popular LinkedIn Learning [IN]structor with nearly two million unique learners enjoying her courses.

Want to hear Stacey live? Consider booking her for your next keynote or workshop.